Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize