the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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