mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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