Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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