she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
