it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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