Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
