worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
