Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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