I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Send help, water and tortillas.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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