Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
