Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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