I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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