Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
