doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
