I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
