Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
