Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
