ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
