fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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