Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
