I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
