i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
