I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
