All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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