At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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