I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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