also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
