i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
