I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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