her vagine was all disorganized.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Is it penis luge time yet?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Bring me that man meat
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
