I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
