There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
