We're facebook friends in real life
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
