i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
