you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
