Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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