I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
