I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize