this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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