I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
