i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize