ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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