i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
