Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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