So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Enjoy the penises
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
