I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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