Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
