did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
