check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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