Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
i think i just lost a toe
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
