I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just had sex on a roof
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
