Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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