I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
