My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
