Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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