my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
