Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
