my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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