I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
