I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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