He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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