I'm gonna have a badass scar
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
