dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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