Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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