I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
